Helping older adults declutter requires a patient, respectful approach that honors the memory and meaning held in their personal possessions. 

It can be incredibly difficult to get an older adult family member to let go of the “stuff” that has collected in their living space. They may view your attempts to help them clean up as an intrusion of their privacy, leading to feelings of anger, sadness, and fear of losing a vital part of their personal history, and even their autonomy. Helping an older family member declutter their living space requires a gentle, respectful, and slow-paced approach that makes them feel like a partner in the process.

Cluttered Living Spaces: A Hazzard for Older Adults

Excessive clutter in an older adult’s home present both safety and health hazards. When their “stuff” collects on stairways, blocks windows and doors, and overwhelms living areas, a beloved older family member is at risk for accidents. Rusted objects cause serious cuts if not handled carefully. Illness causing irritants such as dust, insects, or rodents can lurk among piles of old paper, boxes, and clothing. 

Tips for Helping an Older Adult Get Rid of Junk

Before you begin to move things around or to remove stuff from your beloved older family member’s living space, check your mindset. Remember that where you see junk, they see memories—and they are connected to these objects or what the objects represent in ways that are deeply emotional and even physical. 

Start the declutter process with a conversation about what needs to be done and why. Focus on areas in the home where there is a safety or health hazard, such as blocked exits that would make it hard to get out in the event of a fire or an area where there is a risk for falling. Also, consider your family member’s health status:  mobility, hygiene, medications they take and let those needs inform how you proceed with the decluttering process.

• Show Empathy: Acknowledge that belongings have deep sentimental value. Avoid harsh terms like "trash" or "junk".
• Focus on Safety: Frame the process around removing tripping hazards to improve mobility and safety.
• Take it Slow: Don’t try to tackle the whole house or even a room at one time. Regular, short sessions can help prevent physical and emotional exhaustion—for both of you.

“You know, Dad, these piles of paper you have here by the stove, these could catch fire easily. Let’s go through them to see what is important here and move those items to a safer location. This way we can make sure you haven’t missed any bills or important news.”

“Mom, I know these old photos and memorabilia are very important to you. The boxes are blocking windows and part of this door. Let’s sort through them and make the space cluttered so it is safer for you in the event of an emergency. Plus, I’d really love to see this history with you.” 

• Prioritize Function: Ask  your family member how they are using the items or what the items mean to them. Do they use the items daily or weekly or monthly? When was the last time they used an item (if they can remember)
• Ask for Input: Involve them in every decision to ensure they feel in control. 

“Mom and Dad, I’ve created 3 categories for items:  Keep/Preserve, Donate, Discard. Your input is important. We’ll go through one thing at a time. If there’s value to something that I am not easily familiar with, please tell me the story behind it. What we don’t have the room for here, at your house, we’ll find a safe place for, but we have to be selective so that we can make the space safe and healthy for you.”

• Preserve What is Essential: Explain that old photos can be scanned to different media formats, such as made into a slide show or video montage; important documents can be digitized or consider things that can be put into a picture frame and visible for them to see on a regular basis. There are many resources for preservation to be found online or even a local business. Look for services such as photo/document restoration, preservation of memorabilia, and photo/video archiving.

When Clutter Becomes Hoarding in an Older Adult’s Home

You might start the decluttering process only to discover the task is beyond yoru capabilities for one of two reasons: 

1. Your family member resists all attempts to clean house and continuing will just strain your relationship.
2. Safety or health hazards (insects, mold, rodent droppings) exist that you are not equipped to handle.

In the first scenario, you will want to hire a service that specializes in working with older adults. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging for suggestions. Also look for companies like Silver Solutions to see if they run services in your area. Some professional organizing companies will also have a special team for older adult decluttering services.

The second scenario requires intervention to deal with the hoarding and the hazards presented in your situation. What you see on the surface may just be the tip of the ice burg. Hoarding can cover structural issues in a living space including electrical and plumbing hazards. 

Is it time for Assisted Living Care?

As you move through the cleaning-up and cleaning-out process with your older family member, you might wonder if it is time for assisted living care. If the health and safety risk factors are significant, then the answer to the question is likely “yes.” 

At Everbrook Senior Living, our exceptional living spaces provide a safe, “feels-like-home” environment where your loved one will be cared for like a member of our own family. We monitor living spaces for health and safety consideration along with any special medical and well-being needs that your loved one may require. Contact our compassionate care advocates, today, to schedule a visit to one of our many properties located throughout New England.